Welcome To Collinwood

One and a half stars. More than just disappointing: actively bad.

I'm not sure if this was supposed to be a crime caper, or a character study of a bunch of mismatched no-hopers chasing a dream of escape from poverty. Either way, it ended up as a forced slapstick about a burglary gone wrong. There are a few funny moments, and a few nice character touches, but they're the rare exception. Most of the time the protagonists are nothing more than a bunch of unlikeable half-wits who can't bust their way through a damp napkin, let alone a jeweller's safe. Yes, this appears to be exactly what the script calls for, but why? What is the film trying to say? It left me cold because it lacks heart, and lacks direction. This is exemplified by the ending, which allows the gang's failure to fizzle out in spectacularly anti-climactic "that's it?" fashion. All of the cast can do better than this in their sleep.